Team Non Sluts has decided to add a new segment to our blog, one that we would like to call Shit That Happens in Johnston Hall. Lets be real here. We live in the weirdest fucking building in the world. And while it may be in the most prime location on campus and our room is larger than a frat boy's ego after his morning slam, there are some downfalls to living in this dorm. One of those is the weird as fuck people we co-inhabitate with. In recent weeks, our neighbors have gotten so fucking weird that they have earned themselves a weekly post in our blog. Kudos to you weirdass people of Johnston Hall, you are now taking up more of my time than my Poli Sci notes.
For the inaugural post of Shit That Happens in Johnston Hall, I would like to start with explaining the character that will hereby be known as The More Butch Girl Next Door. She didn't really bother us until this past Monday night when I was leaving for chapter. I was locking our door you know, being safe and shit, when she decided to look me up and down and say "Wow! You look good today!" Then she proceeded to growl. I proceeded to give a scared "Thanks" and ran away as fast as I could. Yup. I got hit on by our more butch potentially lesbian neighbor. The More Butch Girl Next Door is now the scariest thing I have to encounter when I'm making my way to the shower or just filling up my water bottle. Who knows what she'll say next.
Shit only gets weirder the next night, when Emily was on her way to being the total badass gym rat that she is. The breezeway that we live in is a shady place and is now even shadier now that we've seen an actual, legit totally real drug deal going on. As naive white girls, our minds were blown. Yes, the breezeway of Johnston Hall is a perfect place for a drug deal to go down and yes, we probably should be aware of the other illegal activity that probably goes on down there, but REALLY, we never expected to see it with our own eyes.
It was that same night that we saw the two crazy-ass girls from our FIG class doing cartwheels in the hallway. No fucks given, just another Johnston Hall happening for the week.
Anyways, back to The More Butch Girl Next Door. On Wednesday night she was exiled to the hallway for at least 4 hours for reasons unexplainable to us, but we kind of felt bad for her. Okay not really. THe last major happening of this rather uneventful week in Johnston Hall history was watching a certain Tri-Delt living across the hall come home at 12:30 in the morning as drunk as that ho left alone at Phi Delt on homecoming. From my point of view (and very noticeable attempt to hear what the fuck was going on) this Tri Delt was unable to stand on her own and had no fucking clue how she had made her way back from whatever fratty pit of hell she was in to the sanctuary that is this residence hall. Luckily for her, she had a nice sober friend to scold her for getting hammered on a Wednesday night as well as help her prepare for bed. Unluckily for her, she had a psych exam at 8 the next morning that we are pretty much convinced that she couldn't afford to miss. (We know, we're terrible people for assuming this. But REALLY, from what we've observed in FIG class this girl is as dumb as a post.)
So here's the deal: Johnston Hall is a fucking weird yet entertaining place to live. While they might be semi annoying and time consuming to follow, the freak shows we call neighbors give us great stories to tell later and they add another weekly segment to this kickass blog. We're all for your bizarre behavioral patterns, as long as they are no direct threat to us and you keep it down past 11pm. Thats quiet hours bitch.
Also, to those living in Russia and currently creeping on this blog, expect a weeklong break from Team Non-Sluts. Its Thanksgiving. America!
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