Listen Up Boys: Best Date Idea Ever!

Let's begin by reviewing our unhealthy obsession with The Millionaire Matchmaker. Patti is God when it comes to fixing up douchey rich kids with trashy hoes. So basically, she's our idol. Not only does she tell it like it is, she is an advocate for people everywhere who don't give fucks, like us. She is awesomesauce. Patti's balls are ten times the size of any frat boy out there and what she says goes. She makes us want to be better at giving zero fucks.Which leads us to this conclusion: We are now taking on the role of matchmaker/fixer-uper/advice-giver for all of you people reading this blog. It's hard to find normal people out there, but once you do, you don't want to fuck it up by being THAT guy/girl. We all know who those people are. And you don't want that to be you. Judging.
Secondly, let us remind ourselves that it is rare to have an enjoyable first date. Shit gets awkward way too fast. SO - here is some advice to all the guys out there to help you not fuck it up. We're rooting for you here, but if you're adament about being THAT guy... there's not much we can do. But for all of you other guys out there wanting to score big, here's what we suggest.

Best Date Ever:
1. Attend a sporting event. Basketball, football, and baseball are some suggestions. Particularly a game that you don't especially care about. None of that post-season shit. And here's why: a date is supposed to be interactive. Duh. You need to talk to the girl, but if you're too wrapped up in the game, she'll think you're ignoring her. Also, sporting events are perfect because while you are still attending a fun event and can be engaged in what is happening on the court/field, you still have ample opportunity to talk to your girl. It's perfect. If there is a lull in conversation you can take part in cheering on your team. It helps if you sit in a section where there are lots of people cheering (the student section for example). But you are still on a date, so you are expected to be engaged in the girl.
2. After the game, go grab some food/ice cream. You will be hungry (especially if you're like me and won't waste your money on expensive-as-fuck stadium food). Go to a really low-key restaurant or even a sports bar and just chill and talk. It's fucking perfect.

I would love it if a guy suggested this for a date. It's fun and laid-back. It will take some of that first date pressure away and it will just be a whole lot better for both of you. But seriously, do this shit.