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| Notice how the creepy kid ISN'T in the picture. |
Showing posts with label basketball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label basketball. Show all posts
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Adventures with Emily and Liz: Basketball
AWWW YEAHHH.... BASKETBALL.
so basketball has come into our lives suddenly and somewhat unexpectedly. at first we didn't know how to respond. we asked ourselves "what is this shit?" "what does it want to do with us?" "why did this happen to us?" "how can we make this madness stop?"... but then we thought - HOLY FUCK BASKETBALL!
you are now reading from two girls who are embracing the epicness that is college basketball and riding the wave. that's right. two highly unmotivated non-sports-loving girls turned fanatic. shit just got real. I welcome you to this alternate universe. so the first step in this endeavor was to get the tickets and sign up for the student cheering section. check and check. next was to actually attend said event. which brings us to last night...
we arrive at the courts and take a seat behind one of the nets in the student section.. pom-poms in tow of course. unfortunately for liz, she is seated next to some creepy-as-fuck kid who obviously loves basketball but is so weird that he has no friends and thus no one to attend his favorite event with. we came to find out why. he's a screamer. not like in bed you fucking perverts (although as much is yet to be proven so who knows. ill let you test out that theory). randomly throughout the game he would shout out random ass shit, obviously trying to impress with his vast knowledge of the game. we have now come to the segment we like to call "REALLY?! with Emily and Liz" (SNL for all of you Seth Meyers fans)...
REALLY?! you come to a game by YOURSELF and still have the nerve to shout random ass shit out into the world. you don't have friends. so why ostracize yourself more? you REALLY expect people to respond in a positive fashion to you screaming your atrocities into the mass of basketball fans? REALLY? everyone who has ever come across you is good by me. because they aren't your friends. sorry bud. you just don't do that shit.
we look forward to many more encounters with crazy basketball fans. also, we thoroughly enjoyed the random chants chanted throughout the game... some of which include:
1. "put it in the hole, just like last night"
2. "a tisket, a tasket, we want a frickin basket"
3. "raise your hands if you love basketball but don't know if you want to take your relationship further"
4. "tanning bed!"
5. "STEVEEEE"
Finally, we are in the process of coming up with saying for all of the players on the team:
1. We've got a fixin for Dixon
2. Troy Bolton (there is only one white guy on the team so this is what he gets) - Put the White Guy In!
3. Phil Pressey you can undress me
4. I got a need, I got a need for Green
the rest are still in the works.
Basically we fucking love basketball.
so basketball has come into our lives suddenly and somewhat unexpectedly. at first we didn't know how to respond. we asked ourselves "what is this shit?" "what does it want to do with us?" "why did this happen to us?" "how can we make this madness stop?"... but then we thought - HOLY FUCK BASKETBALL!
you are now reading from two girls who are embracing the epicness that is college basketball and riding the wave. that's right. two highly unmotivated non-sports-loving girls turned fanatic. shit just got real. I welcome you to this alternate universe. so the first step in this endeavor was to get the tickets and sign up for the student cheering section. check and check. next was to actually attend said event. which brings us to last night...
we arrive at the courts and take a seat behind one of the nets in the student section.. pom-poms in tow of course. unfortunately for liz, she is seated next to some creepy-as-fuck kid who obviously loves basketball but is so weird that he has no friends and thus no one to attend his favorite event with. we came to find out why. he's a screamer. not like in bed you fucking perverts (although as much is yet to be proven so who knows. ill let you test out that theory). randomly throughout the game he would shout out random ass shit, obviously trying to impress with his vast knowledge of the game. we have now come to the segment we like to call "REALLY?! with Emily and Liz" (SNL for all of you Seth Meyers fans)...
REALLY?! you come to a game by YOURSELF and still have the nerve to shout random ass shit out into the world. you don't have friends. so why ostracize yourself more? you REALLY expect people to respond in a positive fashion to you screaming your atrocities into the mass of basketball fans? REALLY? everyone who has ever come across you is good by me. because they aren't your friends. sorry bud. you just don't do that shit.
we look forward to many more encounters with crazy basketball fans. also, we thoroughly enjoyed the random chants chanted throughout the game... some of which include:
1. "put it in the hole, just like last night"
2. "a tisket, a tasket, we want a frickin basket"
3. "raise your hands if you love basketball but don't know if you want to take your relationship further"
4. "tanning bed!"
5. "STEVEEEE"
Finally, we are in the process of coming up with saying for all of the players on the team:
1. We've got a fixin for Dixon
2. Troy Bolton (there is only one white guy on the team so this is what he gets) - Put the White Guy In!
3. Phil Pressey you can undress me
4. I got a need, I got a need for Green
the rest are still in the works.
Basically we fucking love basketball.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Adventures with Emily and Liz: Breaking Gender Barriers
It's Hallo-Fucking-Ween, and after Halloweekend, our life is in shambles. Like really though. Sig Pi is singlehandedly ruining our GPA. In order to get our shit together today we decided to make a much needed trip to the Rec to make up for our past transgressions. We didn't plan on doing anything too serious, no beasting to be done here. Just a mile or so around the track and then our usual rowing workout. It is Whiny Monday after all.
So we walk, we talk and we gaze jealously at the Asians on the floor below us playing badminton. By the way, badminton(or what we like to call BADASSminton) is the most fucking awesome sport of all time, and someday we really wish to engage. If those Asians can have such a great time doing so, we're sure as hell that we can to. All we need is the fucking equipment. We weren't smart, we didn't bring all that was needed to play this kickass game to college with us, and now its the biggest regret of our lives. Other than not thinking through that hangovers=not studying for Poli Sci.
ANYWAY, as we pondered the Asians below us, we also saw a band of them playing basketball and soon came to realize that we could do the same. We could rent out a basketball and be total fucking badass ballers. It wouldn't be embarrassing at all! So, we march our asses downstairs get a basketball and make our way to the courts, only to realize that there might not be one open for us. Fuck that shit though. We found one with these two dudes, who will from here on out be referred to as BraceFace and Farmhouse. BraceFace and Farmhouse were diligently waiting for a regular men's sized basketball and a court when we showed up, and they proceeded to shoot around with us until 6:15. Yeah we made asses of ourselves, and yeah we admitted yet again that we were highly un-athletic in high school, bust most importantly, we broke some fucking gender barriers. its safe to say that there were no other girls who dared step foot on that court, and we were dumb enough to do so. We made some new friends AND Johnston Hall would be fucking proud of the fact that we reped for all the girls who are pansies and who refuse to intermingle with the wannabe ballers at the gym.
BraceFace and Farmhouse led us two conclusions: We need to fucking take use of our Student Activities Fees and we need to become TOTAL FUCKING BADASS BALLERS. We are going to get to the Rec, learn how to play basketball and continue probably making asses of ourselves.
It's been real Farmhouse and BraceFace. Thanks for being okay dudes and not total fucking frat douche faces (see earlier posts). Hope to see you around the court.
Love, Bifecta. Huzzaah!
So we walk, we talk and we gaze jealously at the Asians on the floor below us playing badminton. By the way, badminton(or what we like to call BADASSminton) is the most fucking awesome sport of all time, and someday we really wish to engage. If those Asians can have such a great time doing so, we're sure as hell that we can to. All we need is the fucking equipment. We weren't smart, we didn't bring all that was needed to play this kickass game to college with us, and now its the biggest regret of our lives. Other than not thinking through that hangovers=not studying for Poli Sci.
ANYWAY, as we pondered the Asians below us, we also saw a band of them playing basketball and soon came to realize that we could do the same. We could rent out a basketball and be total fucking badass ballers. It wouldn't be embarrassing at all! So, we march our asses downstairs get a basketball and make our way to the courts, only to realize that there might not be one open for us. Fuck that shit though. We found one with these two dudes, who will from here on out be referred to as BraceFace and Farmhouse. BraceFace and Farmhouse were diligently waiting for a regular men's sized basketball and a court when we showed up, and they proceeded to shoot around with us until 6:15. Yeah we made asses of ourselves, and yeah we admitted yet again that we were highly un-athletic in high school, bust most importantly, we broke some fucking gender barriers. its safe to say that there were no other girls who dared step foot on that court, and we were dumb enough to do so. We made some new friends AND Johnston Hall would be fucking proud of the fact that we reped for all the girls who are pansies and who refuse to intermingle with the wannabe ballers at the gym.
BraceFace and Farmhouse led us two conclusions: We need to fucking take use of our Student Activities Fees and we need to become TOTAL FUCKING BADASS BALLERS. We are going to get to the Rec, learn how to play basketball and continue probably making asses of ourselves.
It's been real Farmhouse and BraceFace. Thanks for being okay dudes and not total fucking frat douche faces (see earlier posts). Hope to see you around the court.
Love, Bifecta. Huzzaah!
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